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I turned 49. Reflections on my last year before I hit 50.

I remember preparing for the beginning of 2022, and the words were ‘Sifting & Shifting’ … this became my mantra and pre-frame to the energy of Twenty 22.


How true that has been!

We are definitely accelerating, and you could be forgiven if you happen to think or feel like you are ‘doing nothing’, or that you need more rest, or that you can’t seem to fit in or do the things you used to do.


Change.


It’s here, it’s happening. Resistance is futile, surrender is required.

While the energy moves and settles, the body does need to catch up - it needs to purge, to clear and to cleanse.

This could look like sickness, cycles, tiredness - even death.


It’s all a part of ‘becoming’ and remembering.


This last month has most definitely been that for me - things are moving out, and as they move out - they like to cause a little chaos.


My Mantra has been:

“I am not my sickness.

I am that which remains after this has moved out.

Refreshed. Recalibrated & clearer".


I do my best to get out of the way, and allow. I remember not to ‘make up stories’ about my own self worth and who I am… I remember that my body is a processor, and has the ability to self correct and find balance from within.


I have absolutely called on help and support, I’ve moved things, cancelled & postponed - and felt somewhat liberated by the whole process, alongside with the usual frustration!


But, I forgive myself - I take care of myself, and walk this path with compassion.


How can I show up for you.. If not for myself ..?


Recently I’ve…



*Given up coffee for about 6 weeks now, (I could write a whole blog about this alone) and replaced it with an antioxidant tea called the ‘Blue Warrior Tea’, it goes purple when you add lemon and is just delicious (from the Red Sparrow Tea Company). I found the robust energy of coffee to be ‘too loud’ for me right now, I needed something softer, gentler, more soothing and comforting.






*My son graduated YR 12 and is starting his HSC. His formal was an amazing display of young kids celebrating their JOY at where they are in life right now. I found this very emotional and reflective. It was also a real initiation and milestone for him to be recognised for his ongoing achievements.








*I recalibrated myself to the sun, I faced the sun when it rose out of the ocean, and sat with it as it went down. This was my new rhythm … rather than artificial lights, screens, and being in doors, we went camping at South West Rocks, at Trial Bay Gaol which is magical just for that exact purpose, you see both the sunrise and sunset. I can do the same at my house, and I am ever so grateful for the gift of that life force source connection. We know this rhythm - we’ve been connected with it for eons.



*I’ve been baking, cooking, cleaning and purging the house. A deep clean. I bought myself an epic vacuum cleaner, and the excitement was REAL my friends.


*I cleaned out my closet - this is a big one for me, I realise and see my attachments to things, pretty things, nice things and the stories that go along with them. There were 3 HUGE piles on the floor and still more to come. Get ready for that EPIC garage sale. And this was a sign of the change that was happening within.


*I spent time alone, and didn’t seek activity or action or stimulation. I just sat with myself, as I was and recognised that that was enough right now.



*I supported Teo through his performance in FROZEN by preparing amazing food, and nourishment for him. It’s one

of the great things and gifts about being a mumma - I love slowing down & spending time doing this. Teo has been having a most amazing and life changing experience performing in FROZEN.

It's life changing seeing your kiddies thrive.



*I helped Jasi through her 3 jobs, drove her around and kept her fed. She loves to hang out with her friends everynight in the holidays, so I said YES to sleepovers (non- stop) at my house.


*I felt my anger, fear, resentment, frustration and anxiety … about the world, life and just not feeling well. I just let it be there, I sat with it.


*I meditated daily - dropped into my practise in a very real, supportive tangible way.


*I didn't hand my homework in or do my assignment for my Meditation Teacher Training (sorry bro)... this was a tough one, but I just did not have the capacity to do the work. I forgave myself for this. And congratulated myself for moving to another level of effin off the ‘people pleasing tendencies’, the feeling I felt here, was relief.


*I performed at the Curry Fest, I love being on stage. I was still unwell, so it was in some way a struggle. But I just allowed it to be ‘what it was’ without needing it to be different or explaining it. We all had a great time.



*I turned 49.


This is the last year of my decade and half a century … (wtf)... crazy.

I decided it’s time to celebrate life, just for this very reason, and that everything is a blessing - even when it isn’t, it actually is.


Perception is everything.

Here we are celebrating that moment at the Woopi Brewery with a spontaneous disco.

As you do.







*I love nice spaces, with beautiful light. So I’ve just started really staring into these spaces and places and admiring their beauty. I take pictures of them & share, just because they deserve it. And I’ve really slowed down to appreciate these spaces in my own environment, and keep them ‘tended too’ with love & ritual. This at South West Rocks. These rocks had a majestic quality to them.





*I move with JOY. It's so joyful to be in a body. I love moving it. Even when it hurts, and my chest hurts, and I’m coughing - my body really does bring me back into JOY. I move with JOY.


*Although I’m extremely outgoing and social, I am also the complete opposite - deep and quiet. Both spaces I feel at home. I am embracing the paradox and the undefined parts of who I am! They are fluid and transforming. And embracing the in-between moments where I am neither this nor that - but perhaps neutral.


*I recognise the power, beauty & presence that is in each moment. There is a lot there. A deep tangible well of presence. I like to drop my anchor in here & pause.


Life is a gift, being alive and human and conscious is such a tool for awareness, change and transformation.


The choices I make, daily matter.

The conscious effort & practise of discernment creates an energy that rolls out into my life like a red carpet welcoming the new, the old and everything in between.




I look forward to the new horizon, the new sun that is rising.


Can you feel it ..?

And are you READY for it..?




Bec x 🌺




Rebecca is a Mover, healer & shaker.


She loves adventure, new places & exploring.


She especially loves meeting new people and have a good old chin wag.


Connect with Bec here